I have, for many years of my life, just trudged through and pushed forward with all my might. This aggressive approach was instilled in me as a child that you just “tough it out”! I can say I have mastered the art of toughing it out, so much so that it has caused me great sorrow and pain not only in my mental and emotional bodies but in my physical body. All of this came to a screeching halt a few years ago when I was suffering in so many ways that life seemed impossible and quite honestly I did not want to continue on this way anymore.

It was time to make changes and to be willing to let go of experiences and expectations I had of myself. I began to make these changes and it seemed I was constantly needing to change things because it was never enough. I was so resentful of my life experiences I just wanted things to be easier and I struggled with finding and staying in my joy. These struggles began to lessen once I was really willing to see what I really needed to let go of.

It was time for me to let go of feeling I “had” to do things to make others happy and it was time to start using the word “no”. Saying no to clients, friends and even family and beginning to recognize I have needs and that I am allowed to state them and own them and only make choices that aligned with this truth! Once I began to make these choices I saw that I had many excellent teachers that had presented themselves to me throughout all of the years and I began to observe my life experience very differently.

These teachers included friends that I had struggles with and clients that I felt I let take advantage of my kindness and desire to help. Even my parents and family members and how they molded my views up to this point in life and most importantly my son, probably my greatest teacher of all. These experiences had opened my life into different moments that I had the opportunity to grow from or ignore the lesson and continue to “tough it out”. It was very difficult in the middle of the journey to see what a blessing each of these experiences had been for me. However, now on the other side of the dark cloud I can see clearly.

How do we find gratitude for the most uncomfortable life experiences and let go of the attachment to the hurt and sorrow they presented at the time?

Become an observer

Once there is a desire to make changes in your life you must be willing to see where you are, how you got there and what your part was in creating the experiences. By allowing yourself to become an observer, you then begin to raise awareness in your life without judgement or harsh attacks on yourself. You simply allow the answers to come so you can actively decide how to move forward and what pitfalls you wish to avoid.

Forgiveness

Now is where the real work begins, forgive yourself for you are human and this is your human experience! Take time to meditate and see yourself in a situation you surfaced through the process of becoming aware. Within the meditation, forgive yourself and the others involved. Then, surround the experience with love and light and ask your divine helpers, however you see your spirituality, to help you heal the situation and help you let it go from your heart.

Gratitude

Give gratitude to the experience. Allow yourself to become aware of all the things you learned from this experience and the people involved and send out gratefulness to them and the situation. And lastly thank yourself for having the courage to face this moment and allow healing to occur.

Let it go

Now that you have navigated observing, forgiving and gratefulness it’s time to let it go. You no longer require the lesson and therefore have no need to hold onto the sorrow attached to the experience. This can be challenging as there may be many levels you are working with, but let go of what you can and move forward with the knowledge you have obtained through this exercise.

Move forward with a grateful heart

Having a grateful heart for all of your life experiences is key to helping you appreciate the journey that is called life. The more we can look at our life experiences with gratitude the more joy there is in each day of our lives. For me I have found this to be the greatest part of the journey because I have more ease of mind and I know I am actively moving through life aligned with my divine purpose and that is so much better than “toughing it out”! I still experience challenges and opportunities to grow but now I see them and I love what I am experiencing because I know in the end it is here to give me the greatest life experience I could ask for!

“Be in a state of gratitude for everything that shows up in your life. Be thankful for the storms as well as smooth sailing.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

About Ramona: Ramona has been working individually and in groups with people for 14 years and has a heart for helping others find their empowerment and reach their potential in life. As owner and operator of Ananda Center for Yoga & Massage, LLC and Authentic Life Journey, LLC she continues to expand her knowledge base so she can fulfill her life’s passion to encourage others and grow into her divine life purpose more and more with each day! Follow Ramona at her website: Authentic Life Journey.

The opinions and views expressed in guest posts are those of the writer and may not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Sister Rap or other guest rappers.